Mistakes
by BHP
Summary: Set in the 2018 reboot of the show. After the events of 'Bad day to be a hero' (Episode 10 of season1), Higgins learns a few things she didn't expect - and finds herself surprised.


Author's note: This takes place after the end of 'Bad day to be a hero', episode 10 in season 1 of the 2018 reboot of the show. I don't own the show or the characters, but only the words on this page. As always, I'd love to hear what you think.

 **Mistakes  
** **by BHP**

Juliet Higgins had made mistakes in her life. More mistakes than she could count. The worst of which had left her disavowed and unofficially banished to Hawaii. Which was about as far as it was possible to be from the disaster that her lack of judgement had caused.

Understandably, in her mind, mistakes were therefore something to be avoided. The consequences were never good.

She'd walked away from her career and her life in England, and made a new life for herself in a place generally referred to as paradise. And it was a good life, she had to admit, even if it was often a trifle dull. Uneventful.

Life with MI6 had always had its quiet times as well. Every mission had moments of blinding terror, and days of living on a knife edge of adrenaline and tension. But there were also weeks of preparation – slogging through details of neighbourhoods, escape routes, extraction points, deep background on targets and enemies, and the endless physical training to keep instincts sharp. She'd excelled at her job, and she'd enjoyed it. Her mission record had been an enviable list of successes, until she made that one fatal mistake.

She'd met Robin Masters by accident, not long after finding herself unemployed. He'd made her an offer that seemed heaven-sent, and she'd boarded a plane to Hawaii, ready for a new challenge. But a well-run estate and a life of leisure had become somewhat taxing, for want of a better word.

Then Robin Masters had let her know that a friend would be moving into the guest cottage. He'd not offered much detail, except that the man was a friend and had served as a SEAL. That the man was the inspiration behind the White Knight books. And that his name was Thomas Magnum.

Juliet had immediately done some digging into one Thomas Magnum. She hadn't dug too deeply, not wanting to alert anyone that she was looking. After all, disavowed didn't offer protection from certain individuals with axes to grind, so it was best to be unobtrusive.

But the information she found with a high-level surface trawl was almost enough: Thomas Sullivan Magnum, highly-decorated and now-retired SEAL, served in Afghanistan, captured along with his unit by the Taliban, and held as a POW until the team escaped. There were a few news articles from around the time the military had announced the escape and safe return of the team, and from those she had gleaned the names of the other three team members. A quick search of their names showed that all three of them were also in Hawaii, all of them gainfully employed.

A discrete email to a colleague still active in MI6 had netted more detail. Magnum and his friends had been held for just over eighteen months in a camp in the Korengal Valley. All further details were highly classified, but rumour had it that the Taliban camp had been 'relocated' not long after Magnum and his friends escaped. And the relocation had apparently not been voluntary on the Taliban's side. Her colleague also mentioned that all the medical records for all four men had been classified as well, implying that they had been subjected to more than the average level of abuse by their captors. Her blood ran cold at the thought, and she was suddenly glad that her work had taken her to places other than Afghanistan.

Magnum, she found, was working as a private investigator, and considering the laughable rates he was charging – well, he was either a freeloader who lived on air, or independently wealthy. Still, he had served with honour, so he couldn't be worse than any of the other military men she knew.

Then she read one of the White Knight books and her expectations dropped considerably. If the man was anything like the character – and why wouldn't he be, given that he inspired it? – he was sure to be arrogant, self-centred, unprepared and worst of all, flippant about things that ought to be taken seriously. Oh, joy.

One week later, Magnum arrived. Dropped off by his three friends at the estate's front gates at sunset, sporting reddened knuckles and a bruised jaw, carrying nothing more than a duffel bag of all his worldly belongings. Not quite what she'd expected. Shorter, for one thing. The little-boy grin he'd aimed her way had done nothing to change her opinion of him, either. The lads clearly shared her view of him the next morning, when they'd hounded him back from an early-morning paddle in the ocean. That had made her smile, enough so that she would never tell him that Zeus and Apollo would never attack him unless specifically ordered to do so. It was just too amusing to watch the daily antics.

Since then, everything she'd seen and heard in the first few months of his stay had confirmed her first snap judgement of the man. Even after he dragged her, admittedly not entirely against her will, into his various cases. She had to admit, it had livened things up for her. Even if she had been shot.

Until he'd started searching for a missing cat, of all things. That was the first time she'd wondered just how much of the person Magnum showed to the world was actually real. He'd milked every ounce of sympathy out of his newly-discovered allergy to cats, but said almost nothing about the pain from three broken ribs. True, telling him to 'man up' had been a bit brusque on her part, but damn the man – he'd scared her! She didn't like to be scared. It made her angry. And defensive. And maybe she'd also realised that she might have made a mistake in her judgement of him.

But now, she caught herself wondering if she'd made another mistake.

TC had left half an hour earlier, saying something about a sunrise helicopter tour of the island, for a pair of elderly lovebirds from the mainland. Katsumoto had left at the same time, his air of faint bemusement a clue to the fact that he still didn't understand quite how he'd let himself be dragged into another one of Magnum's cases. Rick and Magnum were down on the beach, letting the waves wash over their feet as they stared out across the ocean. She could almost see the concern bleeding off Magnum as he rested an arm across Rick's shoulders. Not what she would have expected, given her view of his character a few months ago.

Then again, his last paying case of helping Amanda Sako had also shown her things she didn't expect. It took real courage for anyone to talk about their own pain and fears so openly, with someone they barely knew. Magnum had done just that – and for no other reason than the hope that it would help Amanda. Regardless of much pain it might cause him, he hadn't hesitated. She didn't know if she had it in her to do the same. She'd underestimated Magnum. Also a mistake.

She collected all the empty bottles and took them back to the kitchen. After dropping them into the recycling bin, she headed back to the table to see if anything else needed tidying away. She looked at the beautiful plant that Toni had given Rick, and gently poked a finger in the soil to check if it needed water.

"Got your eye on my plant, Higgins?" Rick's voice floated out of the twilight shadows near the beach. He came into view, moving slowly, with Magnum keeping pace next to him.

"No, thank you. I have enough plants to care for on the estate." Juliet softened then, and smiled. "Just wanted to make sure it wasn't thirsty."

Rick nodded, and tilted a head at the pot. "I guess I need to find out how to keep it alive." He flicked a glance at Magnum, and raised a warning finger. "Not one word, Thomas. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do." Magnum smiled at Rick, and then laughed. "I'll ask Kumu what you need to do; that woman knows everything about every plant on the island. And then you can mother-hen that plant, instead of me."

"Mother-hen? Me?" Rick laughed at the thought. "I've only got that job by default. Nuzo was the real mother-hen. And you gave him plenty of opportunity to practice, too."

"I live to serve." Magnum's grin was wicked. Higgins flashed back to the tour group of children she taken to the guesthouse to rile Magnum up. He'd talked about serving then too, although that time it had been chocolate chip pancakes. But it wasn't the first time he'd mentioned service as a reason for what he did, so maybe it really was a serious motivator for him, after all.

Rick snorted, and picked up the plant. "Sure, you do. As a punching bag for every bad guy you've ever met." But his eyes belied his sarcastic tone, and Higgins caught the look that passed between the two men. She suddenly felt uncomfortably as if she were spying on something not meant for her ears.

Then the moment passed, and Rick headed up the lawn towards his car. She and Magnum followed, watching as he carefully wedged the plant into a corner to hold it steady, before finally driving away.

The silence deepened, and Higgins almost let it slide, before asking the question she couldn't avoid. "Is he going to be alright?"

"He'll be fine." Magnum answer was quiet and certain. "He's stronger than he knows. Even if he doesn't think so."

"You sound very sure."

"I am." Magnum's gaze grew distant and his voice quiet. "Relentless optimism requires a massively strong spirit. And he has both."

"While you were … held?" Juliet guessed. The slight twitch of Magnum's eyes confirmed it. "His words to me were 'good times, great memories', I believe."

Magnum's response was a less-than-elegant snort.

"Only Rick. But it proves my point."

"That it does."

Magnum turned his usual carefree grin on her, then, and waved a hand towards the guest house. "I'm going to head in for the night." He started across the driveway, then turned and offered her an honest and genuine smile. "Thank you, Higgins. For everything you did today."

"My pleasure." A typically polite response, but unlike so many other times in her life, this time she was sincere.

"I owe you for this."

"No. Not this time." Juliet shook her head. "This one doesn't count."

"I swear, Higgins, sometimes I just don't understand you." Magnum was puzzled, and Juliet decided, just this once, to help him out.

"Rick isn't just some client. Just like TC wasn't just another client. They're your friends – however odd you all may be. You stand together, you support each other. I would like to think that, if it came to it, I could be as fortunate in my friends."

"They're more than friends." Magnum shot her a solemn look. "They're my family."

"It shows." Higgins' regret shone through. "Well, as I said – one day, I would like to hope –"

"Call me. Or them." Magnum's quiet statement cut her off.

Then he gave her a dirty look, and picked up on what she'd said earlier. "And 'odd'? You think we're odd? You're the Brit who doesn't like tea. And has her dogs chase people around their own homes!"

Juliet laughed out loud at that.

"Good night, Magnum."

"You too, Higgy."

Higgins bit her tongue to contain her laughter as Magnum walked away, muttering darkly about her two hounds of hell, and how he had donated enough towels to their entertainment, thank you very much.

Two hours later, Juliet found her herself sleeplessly staring at her laptop screen, open to the login screen of one of the highly-classified databases to which she still had a backdoor-access code.

How badly had she misjudged Thomas Magnum? How much didn't she know about the man? And was her ignorance going to backfire on her one day, when she said the wrong thing at the wrong time?

She flexed her fingers and prepared to dig more deeply into Magnum's background. By the time she was done, she'd know more about him than anyone else on the planet. She'd done this type of research often before, so why was she so reluctant this time? And why on earth did she feel like she was betraying his trust?

A flicker of movement on one of the surveillance cameras caught her eye. The main gate. But no alarm sounded, as the figure in the car keyed the access code into the keypad. She studied the image a moment longer, then decided that perhaps there was a better source for the information she wanted. One Orville Wright, currently parking his car behind the Ferrari.

She headed outside, moving quietly; old habits tended to be hard to break. As Rick headed for the beach, she quietly fell into step just behind him. As she opened her mouth to speak, Rick spoke instead.

"Higgins. Are you stalking me for a reason?" The tone was light, but there was an undertone she couldn't quite identify.

"I'm impressed."

"I have really good hearing."

"Always useful."

They walked in silence towards the beach, the sounds of the gentle waves growing louder. When they reached the sand, Rick kicked off his shoes and walked out to the middle of the beach. Higgins stood for a moment, noting how he checked sightlines on all sides, making sure that there were no immediate threats. She wondered if Rick even realised what he'd just done, or if the habit was so ingrained he no longer even noticed it?

Then she kicked her shoes off as well, and joined him. The silence stretched out around them, so thick Juliet could almost reach out and gather it up in her hands.

"So, may I ask why you're here?" Juliet posed the question quietly. Before Rick could speak, she went on, "Not that I mind. I'm just curious. It's just that your late night visits, like this one, are usually only when Magnum has –"

"Done something dumb, and managed to get himself hurt." Rick's amused voice cut right through her half-finished thought. She glanced across and saw him smile, then shake his head. "I should have known you'd notice."

"Yes, well, it is my job." Juliet was thankful that there were clouds across the moon, as it hid the flush that spread over her cheeks.

"But you wouldn't bring it up unless you wanted to know why." Rick landed a searching gaze on her face. The silent examination lasted long enough to make Juliet want to squirm. "And you don't want to ask Thomas, so you figured you'd go after the weakest link, and get whatever you want to know from me."

"That's not true." Juliet was stung into denial. "Well, not completely. I don't want him to think I'm prying, and for some reason, I just can't bring myself to hack into all your service records."

Rick flinched, and took a half-step back at that.

"Oh, I could do it. Very easily, and leave no trace. But that could ruin everything, for all of us, I think. So when I saw you arrive, I thought perhaps it would be best to go to the source, so to speak."

Rick pulled his shoulders back, and for a moment, Juliet saw a military man facing down a commanding officer who was about to tear him a new one for disobeying an order.

"And no, before you say it again – I do not think that you're the weakest link. Magnum made it quite clear earlier today that you are anything but weak."

"Really? Me?" Rick's laughter was subdued, but honest.

"He was quite definite about it, actually." Juliet smiled, then asked, "But why do you visit at night like this? Why try not to be noticed? You have to know that I wouldn't object."

"I do, Higgins, but," Rick sighed, then nodded once as if he'd made a decision, "it's not about you. It's about Thomas, and what he needs."

Interesting. Juliet tipped her head to the side, and watched Rick search for words.

"He tends to attract trouble. I think you may have noticed that." Rick smiled when he heard Juliet's quiet chuckle.

"What you may not know, is that he does it on purpose. He thinks – and God knows, we've tried to break him of this – that it's better if he gets hurt, rather than anyone else."

"What you said about solitary confinement, and what he said about not being a model prisoner." Juliet's murmur was quiet, almost covered by the waves, but Rick's hearing caught it.

"Yeah. He liked to keep the attention focused on him, and the punishment."

"And you all had to pick up the pieces."

"Bingo. Physically, Nuzo was the go-to guy. The guy with the medical know-how to at least try to fix the damage. Although he did have to get inventive at times."

"That sounds … unpleasant."

"Gunpowder cautery generally is."

"Oh, my." Quiet horror filled the words.

"Exactly. Let's just say that all of us have rather vivid nightmares."

"I can only imagine. My own are colourful enough." The admission cost her, but with Rick being so painfully honest, how could she offer any less?

"So, you visit because you worry?"

"Well, yes and no. Yes, we all worry about him; I mean, you've only known him a few months and you've already joined our little club, haven't you?"

The truth of that stunned her. Her reluctance to dig into Magnum's files suddenly made more sense.

"And no." Rick continued, "I also visit because he'll never ask me to. And he needs the distraction when he's not feeling his best. When he's hurt, whether it's physical or not."

"Some variation of PTSD?" Juliet guessed.

Rick nodded guardedly.

"Especially when whatever happened with a case is too close to something from the camp. Like the broken ribs a while back."

"I noticed a scar at the hospital." Juliet remembered how Magnum had played down what she'd seen and diverted her attention. Her hand moved to her own side, and she felt the connection click into place in her head. "A burn scar. That was gunpowder?"

"You didn't hear it from me."

"Of course." Juliet stared out at the sea, letting the slow, repetitive motion soothe her. She was going to need to spend significantly more time on her yoga the next morning, as she hadn't felt this unsettled in a long time. The thought of what Magnum and his friends had survived made her stomach churn.

"So, you visit to distract him from whatever's going on in his head. And to pick up the pieces when you can't distract him enough."

Rick's silence was agreement enough.

"Maybe I am the weakest link. You didn't even have to threaten me with anything, and here I am, spilling my guts to you." Rick sounded annoyed at himself.

"Not weak. Strong. It's difficult to admit that you may not have all the answers, that you may need help. And to ask for it from someone you may not even be sure you trust." Higgins arched an eyebrow at Rick, and fixed him with a stare. "Which is what you're doing right now, I believe, even if you are going about it in an incredibly convoluted manner."

"Busted." Rick laughed then. "Magnum said you're smart. And he trusts you. If he does, I do."

"I appreciate that. The feeling is mutual." Higgins stared at the sand at her feet, pondering the building bricks of friendship. And adding another one to the growing foundation. "I assume that you'd rather Magnum not know about this conversation. So let me just say that he won't hear about it from me. Unless you ask me to tell him."

"Thanks." Rick met her eyes, his tone rueful. "But I can tell you now, he probably knows already. I don't know how Thomas does it, but he always seems to know. Either he has amazing sources, or he makes the best educated guesses of anyone I've ever met."

"Both, perhaps." Higgins shrugged. "If it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me."

"But back to you, and why you're here. Let me hazard a guess of my own." Higgins looked away from Rick, watching him only with a sideways glance. "You're not here tonight for him. Tonight you're here for you. But you don't want to add to the weight he's already carrying, because you know he'd take it on without a second thought. So you were just going to sit here on the beach and try to cope alone."

"Ouch. Way to flay a guy open, Higgins." Rick muttered.

"Quite. But not actually my intention." Rick's quiet snort interrupted, but she went on quietly. "As you put it earlier, I seem to have already joined your little club of worriers. So perhaps you will understand when I say that my concern extends beyond Magnum. I am quite willing to spend a night on the beach with you whenever you need it."

"That's …" Rick seemed stunned into silence. Then he laughed. "I'll bet that's not something you'd like me to repeat."

"Not without context." Juliet laughed as well. "But the offer stands."

"And I think … I would like to take you up on it, Higgins."

Rick sat down on the sand, elbows resting on pulled-up knees.

Higgins sat down next to him, prepared to listen, or simply to sit and provide company. And wondered at how, thousands of miles from home, she suddenly seemed to have found a new family. Perhaps mistakes weren't all bad, if they could lead to friends like these.


End file.
